So yesterday while working with my old group of afterschool kids I made the silly choice to get right in the thick of things and participate in an intense game of Sharks and Barracudas. I was feeling a little bad ass, and wanted to not be the lazy leader.
BAD
I totally bailed, hurt my knee and must have thrown my back or neck out because throughout the evening, I had the headache from hell tat just kept escalating.
On the positive side, I have been rocking the momming, and Whit slept in her crib for SIX hours last night!
Because of my headache last night I almost didn't go to crossfit, but after some tylenol and a little more rest I decided it wasn't going to stop me.
While the workout was just as intense, I don't think I'll be in for the soreness I was this past weekend.
At this weight, I sure am capable of a lot more than I believed I was, I was able to hang on to a bar today and swing my knees up.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Small steps. Not perfection
Today when I woke up, we were pretty slim on groceries.
I decided to hit up Tim Hortons on the way to the grocery store to fuel us up before the shop. I grabbed my regular, ice capp and breakfast sandwich.
Most times this would give me the excuse to continue derailed for the day, but today I won. I stayed on plan for the rest of the day, and even did 10 minutes on my stairmaster.
I seized my motivation and cleaned my kitchen, spent a good hour with the kids in the laundry room sorting all our laundry and *gasp* even putting it away in the dressers. I must be over achieving or something.
The night ended with getting back on track with our bedtime routine and having all the kids asleep by 8pm.
When we had Landon, we were awesome about his bedtime routine. Anna came a long and we wavered but were still pretty good. When I was pregnant with Whit, Landon started sleeping with us a lot. Once Whitney was born, Daddy did bedtimes. It was like my peaceful time with Whitney. Until last week, Whitney had fallen asleep with me and gone to my bed every single night, so transitioning her out of my bed has been a pretty big deal. On one hand, it makes me sad because I really enjoy co-sleeping with her. I realize though at this point in our lives, me being on my own with the kids, no breaks and working full-time, I really need the hour or two of down time for myself in the evenings. So, I am making bedtimes a priority and trying to get everyone into a good healthy bedtime routine.
I am so busy with everything in my life I need to force myself to make time for ME. It helps me become a better Mom for my children, and I need to be at my best especially since I am their main person right now.
I was feeling pretty down earlier. I keep having these dreams where I am with a partner, and I am so happy. When I wake up, it just sucks. Especially when I am working so hard to learn how to be happy on my own without anyone else.
Sometimes I worry that I will never find another person. I could be on my own for the rest of my life. This scares me. Its something that I haven't had to worry about for the last 10 years. I had who I thought was my person, my best friend. There is always the possibility that he *could* change, and we could have our happy family back together, but I can't live my life holding my breathe especially with our history.
So now my mission is to just find happiness in this new reality.One baby step at a time.
I decided to hit up Tim Hortons on the way to the grocery store to fuel us up before the shop. I grabbed my regular, ice capp and breakfast sandwich.
Most times this would give me the excuse to continue derailed for the day, but today I won. I stayed on plan for the rest of the day, and even did 10 minutes on my stairmaster.
I seized my motivation and cleaned my kitchen, spent a good hour with the kids in the laundry room sorting all our laundry and *gasp* even putting it away in the dressers. I must be over achieving or something.
The night ended with getting back on track with our bedtime routine and having all the kids asleep by 8pm.
When we had Landon, we were awesome about his bedtime routine. Anna came a long and we wavered but were still pretty good. When I was pregnant with Whit, Landon started sleeping with us a lot. Once Whitney was born, Daddy did bedtimes. It was like my peaceful time with Whitney. Until last week, Whitney had fallen asleep with me and gone to my bed every single night, so transitioning her out of my bed has been a pretty big deal. On one hand, it makes me sad because I really enjoy co-sleeping with her. I realize though at this point in our lives, me being on my own with the kids, no breaks and working full-time, I really need the hour or two of down time for myself in the evenings. So, I am making bedtimes a priority and trying to get everyone into a good healthy bedtime routine.
I am so busy with everything in my life I need to force myself to make time for ME. It helps me become a better Mom for my children, and I need to be at my best especially since I am their main person right now.
I was feeling pretty down earlier. I keep having these dreams where I am with a partner, and I am so happy. When I wake up, it just sucks. Especially when I am working so hard to learn how to be happy on my own without anyone else.
Sometimes I worry that I will never find another person. I could be on my own for the rest of my life. This scares me. Its something that I haven't had to worry about for the last 10 years. I had who I thought was my person, my best friend. There is always the possibility that he *could* change, and we could have our happy family back together, but I can't live my life holding my breathe especially with our history.
So now my mission is to just find happiness in this new reality.One baby step at a time.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
WOD #1
Today I was brave enough to attend my first CrossFit class!
I was really nervous about it because although I can be fairly outgoing, sometimes new places, with new people, doing new things terrify me.
Luckily the ladies were really welcoming. I seemed to pick up the movements relatively well which made me feel great even though I was twice the size of anyone there.
That feeling... I usually get it from a good run. I basked in it for hours post-WOD. Oh how I have missed that feeling. And I am fully prepared to hate life for the next few days.
Excited and nervous for my next one on Tuesday, but I think no matter what its going to be great.
I was really nervous about it because although I can be fairly outgoing, sometimes new places, with new people, doing new things terrify me.
Luckily the ladies were really welcoming. I seemed to pick up the movements relatively well which made me feel great even though I was twice the size of anyone there.
That feeling... I usually get it from a good run. I basked in it for hours post-WOD. Oh how I have missed that feeling. And I am fully prepared to hate life for the next few days.
Excited and nervous for my next one on Tuesday, but I think no matter what its going to be great.
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
New experiances!
AHHHHHHH!! Tomorrow I am signed up to start CrossFit...
I cannot even put into words how nervous I am. This is something I have been thinking about for YEARS. I always had a reason why NOT to. Now I have only found reasons to take a risk and screw all the other stuff.
Its still daunting. I suffer from anxiety which is generally under control but there are still certain situations that trigger me. One being going into new places with people I don't know and doing things that I already know I won't be good at... at least to start.
Momming.
Since I started this new chapter of my journey I have really been making a strong attempt to up my Momming game. Tonight I wavered. I let my kids watch one show in bed (which turned into three) and then the inevitable sobs and opposition came when it was finally time to turn off the shows and turn on the wonderful sleepy music. It took everything I had in the moment, but I held it together and just kept on saying that we would make it through this and everyone would sleep in their own beds. Thirty minutes later we made it to the other side. Thank goodness.
I received my Young Living Essential Oils kit in the mail today!! I am so excited about them. Stress away diffusing in my office was amazing today, and being day two of "back to school" as well as first day of drop-off/pick-ups for club, I needed it.
I'm still lonely, but I think blogging is helping me work through it. Its like having someone to talk to, even if that person is yourself. Being that I am so awesome, I should be thankful to have myself as a friend.
I cannot even put into words how nervous I am. This is something I have been thinking about for YEARS. I always had a reason why NOT to. Now I have only found reasons to take a risk and screw all the other stuff.
Its still daunting. I suffer from anxiety which is generally under control but there are still certain situations that trigger me. One being going into new places with people I don't know and doing things that I already know I won't be good at... at least to start.
Momming.
Since I started this new chapter of my journey I have really been making a strong attempt to up my Momming game. Tonight I wavered. I let my kids watch one show in bed (which turned into three) and then the inevitable sobs and opposition came when it was finally time to turn off the shows and turn on the wonderful sleepy music. It took everything I had in the moment, but I held it together and just kept on saying that we would make it through this and everyone would sleep in their own beds. Thirty minutes later we made it to the other side. Thank goodness.
I received my Young Living Essential Oils kit in the mail today!! I am so excited about them. Stress away diffusing in my office was amazing today, and being day two of "back to school" as well as first day of drop-off/pick-ups for club, I needed it.
I'm still lonely, but I think blogging is helping me work through it. Its like having someone to talk to, even if that person is yourself. Being that I am so awesome, I should be thankful to have myself as a friend.
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
I once was lost...
Oh Mama.
Well... where do I start?
Shortly after my last post, I ended up having to get a JOB. My last year has been a whirlwind.
New job, promotions, separation, single momming, and so on.
I have finally turned a corner, and realize that I really do, for really real, need to start to MAKE time for me. Being a full-time single mom of 3 and working a full-time management job doesn't really offer me much in the way of that so now I am getting creative.
I won't say much about my separation here, but what I will say is that this was the last thing either of us expected. Unfortunately it was really the only option for us, and we still get along well. The adjustment is hard to watch the kids go through, and I find myself feeling pretty lonely. I am a people person and have never really had a whole lot of time on my own. I mean the kids are here, but its hard not having someone to bounce things off of. I always had my parents, room mates or significant others.
Where am I am now? I am #nailing my job for the most part. By no means perfect, but I can really see a lot of improvement. I have started to really step up my Momming game recently. I mean my kids always know I love them, and I have been doing stuff with them. Basically I was in survival mode, covering all my bases, and leaving out little stuff that isn't a big deal anyhow. You know like socks, keeping my 2 year old in my bed, not really enforcing a strict bed time, too much electronic time, and so on.
It hit me the other day, I can actually do these things. I need to concentrate on whats important rather than doing less because I resent having to do it alone. And this doesn't mean that I will always get socks on my kids, or that they won't watch TV anymore, or that they won't climb into my bed, it just means that I want to make a conscious effort to be a more present parent for my kids. They deserve it.
SO, on the health side of things. I was doing really well on Trim Healthy Mama for about a month, then stress got too much for me and since I don't really have anyone, I turned to the thing that is always there for me, food. Thankfully I am still down 10-15lbs from where I was in April so I am hoping to just carry on.
Tonight I purchased a StairMASTER, and logged a whole 6 minutes on that bad boy, and I am also schedule to try CrossFit this week. Since I have no alone time, I am able to take time out of my work day twice a week for my Cross Fit Classes, and now that I have the StairMASTER at home, I have no excuse to not get at least a small amount of exercise.
I'm probably going to be slow on pics and things until I get a little more regular with my blogging. (FINGERS CROSSED I keep it up)
Well... where do I start?
Shortly after my last post, I ended up having to get a JOB. My last year has been a whirlwind.
New job, promotions, separation, single momming, and so on.
I have finally turned a corner, and realize that I really do, for really real, need to start to MAKE time for me. Being a full-time single mom of 3 and working a full-time management job doesn't really offer me much in the way of that so now I am getting creative.
I won't say much about my separation here, but what I will say is that this was the last thing either of us expected. Unfortunately it was really the only option for us, and we still get along well. The adjustment is hard to watch the kids go through, and I find myself feeling pretty lonely. I am a people person and have never really had a whole lot of time on my own. I mean the kids are here, but its hard not having someone to bounce things off of. I always had my parents, room mates or significant others.
Where am I am now? I am #nailing my job for the most part. By no means perfect, but I can really see a lot of improvement. I have started to really step up my Momming game recently. I mean my kids always know I love them, and I have been doing stuff with them. Basically I was in survival mode, covering all my bases, and leaving out little stuff that isn't a big deal anyhow. You know like socks, keeping my 2 year old in my bed, not really enforcing a strict bed time, too much electronic time, and so on.
It hit me the other day, I can actually do these things. I need to concentrate on whats important rather than doing less because I resent having to do it alone. And this doesn't mean that I will always get socks on my kids, or that they won't watch TV anymore, or that they won't climb into my bed, it just means that I want to make a conscious effort to be a more present parent for my kids. They deserve it.
SO, on the health side of things. I was doing really well on Trim Healthy Mama for about a month, then stress got too much for me and since I don't really have anyone, I turned to the thing that is always there for me, food. Thankfully I am still down 10-15lbs from where I was in April so I am hoping to just carry on.
Tonight I purchased a StairMASTER, and logged a whole 6 minutes on that bad boy, and I am also schedule to try CrossFit this week. Since I have no alone time, I am able to take time out of my work day twice a week for my Cross Fit Classes, and now that I have the StairMASTER at home, I have no excuse to not get at least a small amount of exercise.
I'm probably going to be slow on pics and things until I get a little more regular with my blogging. (FINGERS CROSSED I keep it up)
Thursday, August 14, 2014
The workout that almost wasn't
I took all the steps last night preparing for success today. I planned breakfast, clothes, and scheduled my day.
Something happened when I woke up. Apparently nothing was going to plan. I had no clean bowls ready for my kids breakfast, I couldn't find the blender for my breakfast and we were running late.
I decided to hit up Tim hortons on our way to the gym to save time and get us all fed.
When we got to the gym we headed in, paid for childcare and went into the kids room. I gave my kiddos a kiss and hug and off I went to finally get my sweat on...
That was until about 5 minutes later when they came to get me because my youngest was really upset and wouldn't stop crying.
I went to go calm her down. Spent 10min getting her comfortable again. Then I snuck out. She caught me and started crying. Good thing the childcare ladies and I had discussed this and they decided to try a little longer this time.
I stood outside the door waiting for her to de-escalate.
After a few minutes I decided to just go get some working out done and let them come get me if she's still upset a little later on.
All in all I got about 20-25min of cardio in. Not my idea of a big workout, but at this point I will take what I can get!
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Melt my heart!
I have to say, whenever my oldest, my son, falls asleep on me, I completely melt. Something about his little body going limp and warm and sinking onto me just makes me really feel how much I mean to him <3
Tonight after a fight to go to bed, he came down sat on the arm of my chair and laid his head on my shoulder. Then he told me he just wanted to spend some time with me because even though we were together ALL day, he said he missed me and didn't get any time with me today!
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